Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Redneck Computer Lingo

     Just for laughs: REDNECK COMPUTER TERMS

BACKUP - What you do when you run across a skunk in the woods
BAR CODE - Them's the fight'n rules down at the local tavern
BUG - The reason you give for calling in sick
BYTE - What your pit bull dun to cusin Jethro
CACHE - Needed when you run out of food stamps
CHIP - Pasture muffins that you try not to step in
TERMINAL - Time to call the undertaker
CRASH - When you go to Junior's party uninvited
DIGITAL - The art of counting on your fingers
DISKETTE - Female Disco Dancer
FAX - What you lie about to the IRS
HACKER - Uncle Leroy after 32 years of smoking
HARD COPY - Picture looked at when selecting tattoos
INTERNET - Where cafeteria workers put their hair
KEYBOARD - Where you hang the keys to the John Deere
MAC - Big Bubba's favorite fast food
MEGAHERTZ - how a real bad headache feels
MODEM - What you did when the grass and weeds got too tall
MOUSE PAD - Where Mickey and Minnie live
NETWORK - Scoop'n up a big fish before it breaks the line
ONLINE - Where to stay when taking the sobriety test
ROM - Where the pope lives
SCREEN - Helps keep the skeeters off the porch
SERIAL PORT - A red wine you drink with breakfast
SUPERCONDUCTOR - Amtrak's Employee of the year
LOG ON- what you do when it is cold
LOG OFF- it's gettin' too hot in here
'll get that in a small town!

Monday, October 8, 2012

Couldn't Resist.....

We are voting for a new sheriff in a month. I've seen these signs up all over town and couldn't resist sharing this with you:
        I absolutely love small town names.  It seems like we rural people love to pick unique names, and then when the child grows up they seem to pick an occupation that matches it (for instance, Dr. Molar was a dentist!!) Nicknames are a big part of life in a small town.  You hear them often on the radio when they read the obituaries.  I wondered if he tried coming up with a campaign slogan: "Vote for Digger.....", but what rhymes with "Digger"?   Bigger?  'Figger (as in "I figger on votin' fer this candidate..)?  The livestock trailer really is appealing, too...but you'll get that in a small town.